How I stopped self sabotaging

This isn't a step by step guide to changing your body, this isn't a story of how I lost 40 lbs, this is a story of how I stopped self sabotoging myself. 

So for those who don't know, I do live workouts each morning. It's basically me doing workouts on camera so my clients can join me. However, it would be awkward if I were silent the whole time, so I tend to talk through them. One minute I'll be discussing my dinner the night before, the next I'll be discussing my rich brother and how quick he finished his masters degree. (He's so much smarter than me its ridiculous) 

Anyway, one of the concepts I discussed this morning was before you can actually succeed, you have to first genuinely believe you can. 

I remember before I actually lost the weight I wanted to lose, I tried a thousand times, never fully committing in my brain. I would go to the gym knowing I was going to eat like a dick that night, kinda hoping the two canceled each other out. (FYI my version of eating like a dick back then was pretty horrifying) I filled up my desk with candy and never hesitated to eat as much as I want all day long. I had no clue what to do at the gym and certainly never committed to following any sort of plan. Basically, I would constantly self sabotoge and never fully commit to becoming the woman I really wanted to become. 

Here's the thing - I would look at a girl that looked strong, confident and fit and I never believed that was meant for me. I wanted it, but I didn't actually believe I could have it. I was destined for overeating and had no idea how I was going to change that. 

Here's the other thing - I was really insecure about it. I would look at one of those strong, confident and fit girls and start making assumptions about them. "They're no fun" "They must be miserable" "They are full of themselves and only care about what they look like" 

When we feel insecure about something, we project it onto others. I wanted to find flaws in these women because they were highlighting something I wanted but took zero or half ass action in actually creating for myself. 

Then, one day, I just committed. It wasn't a "I hope I stick with this" kind of commitment. It was "I dont have a fucking choice, I'm sticking with this. I'm treating this commitment as if it's my job." I tracked everything I ate, I worked out 4 days a week, my plan wasn't perfect but it was a plan. I didn't go a day without thinking about being able to do a pull up and let's be honest, I wanted to weigh 130 lbs. This type of laser-focused action created amazing changes for my body, I actually showed myself what I'm capable of, I DID IT! (PS I don't weigh 130 lbs anymore, but I'll talk about the scale another day)

Here's the other thing - I never let off the gas. There's a ton of reasons why, but let me explain: 

1. I won't miss more than a few days of workouts, I have worked so hard to build a healthy relationship with strength training. It's changed my life, it's changed my self confidence, and it's not easy to fall in love with. Proximity is power, if I let myself spend too much time away from it, I know that I won't enjoy it the way I currently do. This may sound psycho or overly obsessed, but it's the truth. I look at my relationship with workouts the way I look at any important relationship in my life, I have to put effort in and foster it in order to keep it alive and healthy. 

2. After competing in bodybuilding shows and becoming overly strict, I don't practice overly strict nutrition programs. Tracking calories/macros makes me bingey. It helped me in the beginning because I learned the value of food, but now I personally just focus on fueling for my workouts, fueling my body so I feel physically good/energetic and enjoying a nice balance between discipline and deliciousness. I think of it like a pendulum - I went super super strict one direction, then a little too lax for awhile, and now I evened out and found a good balance for myself. 

3. Education is important to me. Not just for the sake of my business but for the sake of myself. LEARN! There are many researchers and doctors who support all kinds of approaches for nutrition so you have to take everything with a grain of salt and learn what works best and resonates with you. What you feed your brain, what you focus on, is what HAPPENS! 

Anyway, maybe you're at this point? Maybe you need to work on a mindset shift? You can't hire a trainer or a coach and expect the work to magically get done. You have to work on the INSIDE! Success in anything is hard, anything worthwhile is hard, but that's for a reason. Change your standards for yourself. Think of something that you have a non-negotiable relationship with - are you a neat freak? Do you make your bed every day? Do you put up your christmas tree by a certain day? Take it down by a certain day? You have discipline muscle, it's just time to flex it somewhere new. 

If you're ready to join me and kill it, click here to try a FULL week of my program for $1